Tired. Frustrated. Irritated. ugghhhhh

I had a really hard Saturday and Sunday and kinda right now. I fought and fought and fought with myself. I attended a baby shower (Saturday) where everything I like was on the menu. Sausage dip. Wings. Deviled eggs. Meatballs. CAKE. Everything I like, but could not eat. It was pure torture. I had to eat salad (with a fabulous homemade ranch dressing) and fruit. I was miserable. And I allowed that misery to manifest for 24 hours as I refused to eat ANYTHING. I said if I can’t have what I want, then I won’t eat anything at all. Now, the foolishness couldn’t last long, because I don’t like the feeling of being hungry. But I was so tired (I AM SO TIRED) of eating fruits and veggies while other people around me are enjoying, sodas, bacon, cake and whatever...
As I left the house for work (after 24 hours of eating NOTHING), I dialed the number to my #2 favorite Chinese restaurant, ready to place an order for shrimp fried rice and said “EFF IT”. But when the lady answered, I slammed the phone shut and debated for a second about what to do. I called Big Daddy’s Burger Bar and placed an order for a $4 create your own salad. The salad was not as wonderful as the shrimp fried rice would’ve been, but after I called Big Daddy’s, instead of the Chinese restaurant, I smiled like never before (YAY ME!!!!).

But truthfully, I was so ready to go to bed so this morning so I didn’t have to deal with myself. I don't want to be looked at, touched, talked to, nothing. I'm frustrated and what happens when I get frusrated, I WANT SOMETHING SWEET. But I can't. I'll just try to lay low. Donah (my yoga instructor) once explained that while completing a cleanse, being combative and emotional with yourself is normal. It's a phase. So, I just have to get through this little period and hopefully everything will be fine.
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I'm off to work on my mindset.
Ttyl
StacI